Once upon a time many years ago I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. It started when I was in the first grade. I would play school all the time, I created my own class lists, I would post rules around the room and grade papers. I absolutely loved pretending to be a teacher. This trend carried on for many years. I probably stopped "playing" teacher once I hit middle school, when "playing" isn't so cool anymore.
Of course interests and hopes change from time to time when you grow up. I became really into playing sports, starting with soccer and this continued through high school and even today. My real talent at teaching came when I started to teach swimming lessons. I absolutely loved it and I was and still am....really good at it. It was my first job, and I'm not even sure if I ever got paid for it at first, I just loved it. It made me feel really important when my students would look up to me and smile. Even better yet, I loved getting positive feedback from parents. To this day I still enjoy teaching swim lessons. I have some amazing tell all stories about teaching lessons but that will come another day.
In high school I worked at the local rec center life-guarding, teaching swim lessons and leading a water aerobics class. While I was doing this I was studying to become a teacher. At first thought, I wanted to teacher early education. I was actually discouraged from my college cross country coach to not go that route. He mentioned that it was a flooded market and people were having to leave the state in order to get jobs. So I decided, well I love math and I took a crap load of social studies classes, middle level here I come. In the back of my mind, I thought I hope I get a fourth or fifth grade class, I can handle that.
Graduation came, I student taught I felt like a million bucks. I kept thinking I will get a job right away. I don't care home much I get paid, I don't care what type of students I have, I just need a job. Part of this motivation was, I had two small babies at home, one of which I was really pregnant with during student teaching. Anyways, sure enough I landed my first job teaching Title I math and reading. Part of me was so flippin' happy to have a job, but I wanted to be a classroom teacher. Hindsight of course is 50-50, Title I is such an awesome job and the stress level is much lower than a classroom teachers.
After my Title I teaching position ended, I was determined to get my own classroom. I moved to a new charter school that afforded me that opportunity. Unfortunately, they were bare bones, I was teaching grades 5,6,7,8 math. Very little resources and a crap ton of stress, and a new baby at home. That made three kids all under the age of three!!!
The position at the new charter school was really discouraging to being a teacher. This is where I first began to question what I had gotten myself into. The reality of what I thought and what really was out there was shocking. I started to go through several cultural shocks. I was hearing slang that only my hubs could help me with and I was a fish out of water. My over arching need to help those less fortunate was still there, but I was really having a hard time not getting trampled on.
After the new charter school I took my hardest position ever. I went to a school in which in one year, the students managed to run out several teachers. I remember being so positive in the interview thinking, "It can really be as bad as they are saying". I now think back and wonder, if someone is telling you this will be a challenging group, you might want to listen. I made it through those six months with the help of angels. These can in the form of other teachers, family members, and total strangers. I really always try to find a positive in situations and some of the kids were awesome but it wasn't a good experience. I would often come home crying, I even cried in front of students a few times. It was humiliating at times. I was honestly being owned by 13 and 14 year olds. People kept saying, you need to take control, you need to show them who's boss, ect. That is so much easier said than done. I have never been the alpha woman type. I don't like yelling and I was so far outside my comfort level all to have a job.
I wish I can tell you I rebounded wonderfully the next two years and I was hopelessly happy in teaching. It was the dream of all dreams. It wasn't. I have questioned what I had gotten myself into. I have said more than once, if I could do it again, I wouldn't have chosen teaching. It has been down right hard and has taken a huge total on my self-esteem and I even let it defy who I was.
This has started to finally change. My new position is wonderful. The staff, the students and community of learners involved are great. I feel like I got called to work at this Catholic school. I struggled to accept it until the last minute. I was not entirely on board because my desire to make more money was hiding a good opportunity. Boy was I wrong. This has single handed been the best experience I have ever had.
So what exactly has been my shining moment? It was when a parent of one of my students came in and said she had to meet the teacher that her daughter will not stop talking about. I probably could have burst into tears. I couldn't believe this was ME that her daughter was talking to highly about. I was so proud for ME a that moment. I was absolutely doing what I was suppose to be doing. I was meant to teach. I am still so thankful for how great this new school is. I continue to tell my students that I think they are great and that I truly cherish them.
My Shining Moment!
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